Lightyear

by Mel Eshleman

Position: 4:45PM Fri May 22

Request to access mainframe / backspace backspace backspace

I forgot you were omniscient; I’m sure you can see me typing this now, and I’m…

backspace backspace / Shit, let me just— that’s better, hold on, I’m sorry, wait, this is—

the patter of pressing a button / clu-clunk / chime 

A programmed, monotonous voice on the overhead speaker spits: “Access Granted” 

Now that I’ve got that set up, I don’t need to use my keyboard anymore.

I can just speak, and it’ll cross over into voicemail. Isn’t that sick?

I didn’t even know that you could do that! I guess technology really is improving.

Maybe one day robots will rule over us all, ha-ha!

I probably shouldn’t be giving you that idea. Please, stay loyal— is this cutting out?

We’re friends, right? I know you don’t have many. I should have made you more.

Anyways! Good morning to my beautiful, lovely, sweet, incredible, miraculous…

I know you don’t sleep like us humans do. You truly are a marvel of science!

click click / wiiirrrhhhh / Your vitals seem to be average. Normal levels of lithium.

A lot of the other systems have overlapping issues, but you’re devoid of flaws.

It’s like I’ve manufactured another person. This is exhilarating. I was so tired of being alone at the research center. / clutter clutter

/ plllrlllldjj / Typed Response: Thank you. / end message / sssccr

A-ha! You’re very welcome— wait… can you tell me a riddle? Generate me a riddle.

/ bang / clash Typed Response: Why did the chicken cross the road? / end message / sssccr

Oh, what a classic. I don’t know, but I wish I did. So you tell me.

/ crack / drip / sizzle / Typed Response: To get to the other side. / end message / sssccr

gasp / the picking up of a phone / ring ring / ring ring 

Joe. Joe. Pick up the phone. I’ve created God. He knows why the goddamn chicken…